the past, the present, and the future

recently, i have been asked, why do i always look at things in the present?
i should be looking to the future, to peer into the future, to secure things that might be coming our way.

then i wondered, if i am worried about so many things, how can i be happy?

but then again, i don't deserve to be happy.



past;
the past is a constant for us. no matter what we do, we can't change our past. the past defines us. it provides for our sense of identity, our sense of direction, our purpose. in a way, i guess you can say that the present you is an amalgamation of your past selves.


present;
the present. now. the happiest people are always living in this category. if you live in the present, you learn to be content with the things that you have in life, how beautiful your life is, how amazing the world is, and how blessed we are. i think this is where the happiness comes from.


future;
the most uncertain part. something that you cannot control ( although there are people who beg to differ ). some people see good future prospects for them, they see a bright future, a better place where they can live. i was one of them. they work hard for the sake of a better tomorrow.

its true there are people like that.

however, most likely than not, these people will become prisoners of their own progress. imagine being locked up in an imaginary confinement in your mind, and the boundaries of this confinement will just close down on you day by day. you find it harder and harder to breath, and one day, it will just crush you, along with all of your expectations.

you ask me to learn how to predict the future, to learn how to control it, to scheme, to turn in to my advantage.

honestly, i don't want to.
but for the sake of the people at my side, and for the legacy of this team, i will do it.

maybe i will find enjoyment in doing it. maybe i will find meaning and satisfaction in it.
but until then, i will persevere. like you did.